Survivor Gabon: Randy is the Cookie Monster

I haven't kept up with the recaps this season like I had planned, but tonight's episode has inspired me to write up a short commentary. Honestly, I have never laughed harder at an episode of Survivor than I just did at this one!!

If you have been following this season, you know that Randy is one of the most annoying and poor spirited contestants ever to appear on the show. From the beginning he has made racially motivated comments about his teammates G.C. and Crystal, calling them a "gang" and a "posse". He has rubbed every victory in the faces of each of his opponents at every turn, and he has even argued with his own teammates on the verge of success, just for the sake of arguing. The only reason I have enjoyed seeing him on the show this season is because it has been fun to watch him self-destruct. The whole time that he has been alienating and offending everyone on both tribes (other than Corinne, who seems to be just like him in many ways), I have been wondering if the poor fool realizes that the jury will be made up of these same people in the end? Even if he were lucky enough to make it to the final tribal council, who in the world would vote for him?

Well, tonight was the sweetest revenge. As usual, there was a Survivor "auction" where each member was given $500 to spend on items at the auction. Randy put his money on the table right away, winning first a bucket of beer and some peanuts, and then winning a bowl of spaghetti with french bread and a glass of wine. Maybe his excuse for his terrible behavior later in the auction could be that he was totally and completely drunk, but I honestly don't think he was. I just think he's an asshole. At the end of the auction, he3 bid quickly and won a plate of cookies for his tribemates. Somehow, Randy interpreted that as "I am God, therefore, I can give cookies to whomever I please." In order to relish in his power, he offered Sugar a cookie, and when she declined and said to give hers to Matty, Randy threw a fit and said that it wasn't her cookie to give away, because HE was the one holding the power. Instead, he offered Corinne the plate and told her that she could have two cookies if she wanted them.

In a final moment of, well, who knows... Randy once again offered a cookie to Sugar. It was his last cookie, and I guess for some reason he was expecting Sugar to decline so that he could eat it. I have no idea what he was thinking, but Sugar took the last cookie and then turned around and handed it to Matty. Randy was completely pissed, and carried his anger on to camp for the next two days, mentioning the cookie about twenty times. It was hilarious to watch an almost 60 year old man throw fit after fit about a damn chocolate chip cookie! If only he had known that the group was about to vote Bob next, maybe he would have calmed down a bit, but his insane behavior (which included accusing Matty of becoming a "whore" to the women in his alliance) sealed his fate at tribal council.

This is where the fun part comes in. Randy and Corinne become convinced that Bob has found the hidden immunity idol. Have they even talked to Bob at this point? No. WHy are they so sure he has the idol? I have no idea. It seems that they honestly believe that Sugar is too stupid to have found the idol, so surely Bob must have it. Randy's genius plan is to make sure he annoys everyone to the point of writing his name down, while simultaneously convincing Bob to give him the immunity idol. Then, according to his plan, all of the votes for Randy would not count, but the three votes cast by Randy, Corinne and Bob would rule, voting Susie out of the game for backstabbing them when she voted for Marcus.

Unbeknownst to Randy, Bob had cleverly created a convincing fake idol (much better than the one Ozzy made last season for sure). Bob only told Sugar about the fake idol, for some unknown reason, and Sugar came up with a plan to rule all plans. Give Randy the fake idol but convince him it's real, then laugh as he plays it and thinks he's safe. Her plan worked like a charm! Last season on fans vs. favorites, Ozzy found the real idol and then made a very primative looking fake one to put in its place. Eric later found it and believed it was real, but when he showed it to Eliza, she called him out on it and said, "That's not the fucking immunity idol". At that point, I thought it was possibly the funniest moment in Survivor history.

Tonight's tribal council topped even that memorable moment. Randy and Corinne looked so smug, as if they had just fooled everyone and were about to change to game. They kept winking at Marcus and Charlie over on the jury bench, like "watch this." Apparently they didn't notice that Sugar had her head in hands from laughing so hard and that Crystal was barely able to contain herself. When Randy stood up and presented the fake idol, Jeff gave his usual speech about the rules of play when an immunity idol is presented. Then, he said with a surprisingly straight face... "This is NOT a hidden immunity idol." Then he threw it into the fire and you could see Randy's dreams go up in flames. Meanwhile, everyone else, including Marcus and Charlie (but exempting Corinne and Bob), laughed their asses off as they watched the biggest asshole in Survivor history get outplayed and outwitted. It was genius! Good riddance Randy!

At first, this season seemed to be a bit dull, but ever since Marcus got blindsided, it's been a whole new game. I can't wait to see what happens next week. Right now, I'm cheering on Sugar and Matty pretty evenly. As long as anyone but Corinne wins this game, I'll be a happy fan! Thank you Survivor Gabon for putting a huge smile on my face tonight!~